Hackney Hipsters and Food: 2016

Monday, 22 August 2016

Hipster Jokes From Shoreditch East London England

My poetry bring all the hipsters to the yard and they're like "How Avant-garde"

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody's around to hear it, will a hipster buy the soundtrack?

Dear Hipster, Jesus loved you before you were cool.

If a hipster does something, but doesn't instagram it, did it really happen?

I ain't no hipster, but I can make your hips stir.

Dear Hipster, no matter how cool you think you're making it look...It's still alcoholism

Two hipsters walk into a bar. The first one did it before it was cool, and the second one did it ironically.

I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.

So a hipster walks into a bar and, well, you've probably never heard of it.

What came first the hipster or the mainstream?

Push a hipster down the stairs, ....now look whose tumbling.

Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.

Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.

Hipster jokes from Hackney London England

Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram.
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: He drank low fat non whip frapp before it was cool.
Q: How do you kill a hipster? A: Stab it with a Pitchfork
Q: What do you get if you cross a hipster with a vampire? A: Count swagula.
Q: Who was the First Hipster? A: You've probably never heard of him.
Q: What do you call a hipster with a speech impediment? A: Mumblr.
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Q: Why did the hipster stand by the fan? A: He was trying to stay cool.
Q: Why are all the ugly chicks hipsters? A: Because beauty is just too Mainstream!
Q: How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog? A: Put it in a man bun.
Q: Why do hipsters only use the microwave. A: They don't like conventional ovens.
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
Q: How do you know if Shakira is still cool? A: Hipsters don't lie.
Q: What was the hipster doing at the computer? A: Looking in the recycling bin for something retro.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Q: What do you call a shy, soft-spoken hipster? A: mumblr
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What happens when a Hipster falls? A: They Tumblr

I hate hipsters. That's why I kidnapped one. Yes. I have kidnapped a hipster. Proper one. Original. Not fake. He believes his hipsterism. He walks like one. He talks like one. He even get angry like a real hipster. More surprised than angry. Confused face.
-What do you mean you kidnapped me? Who kidnaps people in London? We are in Hackney maaan.. are you kidding me??
That kind of angry. Fucker is not even angry with me. He is upset with the concept of kidnapping. He doesn't understand the reason and point of it. He is not scared at all. His hipster face with the funny beard showing signs of disagreement, causality, relaxation, panic and questions.
Yes, questions. He wants to understand and reason with the situation.
That's what they do. Explain the situation, discuss everything. They never understand the simplicity except the organic food. I will come to that later.

-What are you doing man. Let me go.
-I have questions.
-What do you mean questions? Let me go. Untie me.
-What I mean is I have questions.
-What questions?
-A lot of questions.
-Whatever man. Can you untie me and let me go please.
-Nope
-Its not funny. Let me go. NOW!!

Word of the Day

irk
Definition:	To be irritating, wearisome, or vexing to.
Synonyms:	gall

Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Article of the Day

Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Idiom of the Day

grill (someone) (about something)

To question or interrogate someone intensely and relentlessly (about something).

Idiom of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

This Day in History

This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Today's Birthday

Today's Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Today's Holiday

Queenship of Mary

Mary, the mother of Jesus, was identified with the title of "Queen" at least as early as the 13th century. On October 11, 1954, during the Marian year that marked the centenary of the proclamation of the dogma of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, Pope Pius XII established the feast of the Queenship of Mary on May 31. After the Second Vatican Council, the feast (classified as an obligatory memorial) was changed to August 22 so that it would follow the Feast of the Assumption on August 15. More...

Today's Holiday provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Quote of the Day

Few are qualified to shine in company; but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.
Jonathan Swift
(1667-1745)

Quote of the Day provided by The Free Library

Word Trivia

Today's topic: pottery

craze - First a crack or flaw; to craze is to produce minute cracks on the surface of pottery. More...

fictile - An adjective meaning "pertaining to pottery" or "suitable for making pottery." More...

ceramic, earthenware - Pottery made from clay is called ceramic or earthenware. More...

slip - As in pottery, it derives from Norwegian slip/slipa, "slime on fish." More...

Word Trivia provided by FreeThesaurus.com

Spelling Bee

Spelling Bee provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Match Up

Match Up provided by FreeThesaurus.com

Hangman

Hangman provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

WordHub

Please wait...

WordHub provided by TheFreeDictionary.com

Mismatch

Mismatch provided by FreeThesaurus.com

Friday, 12 August 2016

Hipster Paradise

Well, I am not letting him go. i have questions. I am curious.

What makes you a hipster? What is the qualification for it? Can I be a hipster? If so how? Is it education? family wealth? life choices? what is it?

They were not around before. Believe me. You did see odd ones every so often but not like this. Not everywhere.
This is an invasion.

You can't just get away from them. Hipsters all around. They are on your face.

They change the food, shops, bars, the whole life in Hackney in fact. Everything.

Hipster paradise mu ass.. It is hell for sure..

Word of the Day